A Beautiful Lie
by TheSlashBunny
Summary: God, what a beautiful lie. It was the perfect denial – concise yet thorough, believable and coming from a source as trustworthy as the Kazekage's own brother. *Rated M to be safe for strong language*


_A/N: Okay, so here's that apology fic that I promised for not updating Itami as often (and as quickly) as I should. It is, in fact, about apologies. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Unbeta'd, since by delicious beta, the-yaoi-squirrel, doesn't have internet access right now. I think I caught any mistakes, though..._

* * *

He'd fucked up. And he really couldn't blame Kankuro for being angry. No… angry wasn't quite the right word. Infuriated? No, that implied a more explosive anger. Unfortunately, this time Kankuro was exhibiting his emotions in a way that Kiba would've expected more from Gaara. He was quiet and simply radiated cold _rage_. And underneath that – pain. Pain that Kiba had caused.

They'd had discussions about this several times. The last 'discussion' could barely even be called that. It'd ended up being more like an argument that had devolved into a screaming match. Kiba could remember Kankuro's words that night perfectly as he sat on his couch in his living room, listening to Kankuro pack his things in the bedroom.

"_What exactly is this to you? A game? Because it's not to me." …" How could you? Do I really mean that little to you?" … "I'm not your fuck-buddy! You're not my dirty little secret and I sure as hell refuse to be yours!"_

God… That day… That night… He'd managed to apologize that time, he'd made it up to Kankuro, and he'd promised to change. But "I'm sorry" and "It won't happen again, I swear" wouldn't work this time. They'd worked too many times before for them to be believed again.

Kiba dropped his head into his hands as he heard a dresser drawer slam. He wasn't going to be able to fix this, was he? Kankuro had been in town for a week and it had all been going so well… But tonight… His fingers gripped his hair as the scene from earlier that night replayed in his mind.

_They'd been at a reception for the foreign aides who were in town preparing for the upcoming diplomatic summit. Kankuro had been chatting up a delegate from Kumogakure, occasionally glancing over at Kiba, as though to apologize for not being at his side instead of schmoozing as the Kazekage's brother should. He knew Kiba hated these functions. Kurenai, his still beautiful former sensei, had approached Kiba, looking uneasy. Kiba could feel Kankuro's gaze on him as Kurenai directed him into a more private corner, away from prying eyes and ears. After niceties that Kiba had the impression Kurenai just wanted to skip, she got to the crux of the conversation._

"_Kiba, as your former sensei, I wish I didn't have to say this, but you have the right to know. And I would rather not talk about it here, but…"She trailed off. Kiba was aware that they rarely got to speak lately. Hell, he barely saw any of his friends recently._

"_Kurenai-sensei… What is it?"_

"_Kiba, are you …romantically involved… with Sabaku no Kankuro?" He hadn't been expecting that. When he didn't answer and just stared at her, she continued. "I know that you've been friends for a while now, and I wouldn't have even brought it up, but…"_

_She looked extremely uneasy as she continued speaking, "There have been rumors. And certain ones have recently come to my attention that I think you should know about…" She went on to tell him the things she'd heard: that Kankuro was staying with him, that they were sleeping together, having sex – all true so far, though he didn't tell her that. And then she came to the … rest: that Kankuro was using him to get delicate information about Konoha from him, that he was using Kankuro for political favors, and several others that she refused to say out loud._

"_Kiba, I know that you would never do anything like… those last. You'd never betray the village and you'd never use someone like that." Here she paused. "But if those first two are true… Well, I just don't want you to think that I'll ju –" _

_He interrupted her, "Sensei – "He knew exactly what he was going to say, but he didn't get a chance to speak._

"_Kurenai-sensei, if I may," Kankuro interrupted, seeming to appear from nowhere, "surely you don't believe any of the rumors floating around. Yes, I am staying with Kiba during my visit; that's a fact rather than a rumor. But only as friends. I did not wish to place any further burden on your hospitality industry as it is already straining with this recent influx of visitors. Rest assured, Kiba and I are not involved in anything unseemly." _

_God, what a beautiful lie. It was the perfect denial – concise yet thorough, believable and coming from a source as trustworthy as the Kazekage's own brother._

_He said it with a smile, the same one he used whenever he was representing Suna. He turned the smile on Kiba, who was probably the only one who could see that it didn't reach his eyes (eyes that were daring him, begging him to say he was wrong), as he asked, "I assume that was what you were going to say, right?" _

_As ashamed as Kiba was to admit it, "Yes, it was." _

When they'd gotten back to Kiba's apartment, before Kiba could even open his mouth, Kankuro simply said, "Don't." Then he walked into the bedroom, put his bag on the unmade bed, and started packing.

No, Kiba couldn't fix it this time. He'd denied their relationship too many times in the past. He'd been going to again, been going to lie again – Kankuro had known what he was going to say and just beat him to it.

Kiba couldn't stop his mind from returning to the last time something like this had happened.

"_Why do you… There aren't any regulations against this, so what's the problem?" _

_He didn't know._

"_You know that I told Gaara and Temari first thing. Have you even told __**anyone**__?"_

_He hadn't._

"… _Are you … ashamed of…us?"_

Kiba still didn't know how the hell they'd gotten past this last time. He'd apologized and done everything he could think of to assure Kankuro that he meant so much to him, so much more than a game, so much more than just someone he occasionally slept with – so much more than just a friend.

And Kankuro had forgiven him. And Kiba didn't know why.

Kiba's head snapped up from his hands when he heard Kankuro pick up his bag and move into the living room towards the door. He looked so resigned, carrying his bag and his scrolls. He didn't look angry anymore. Just tired – and hurt.

Kankuro stopped at the door when Kiba rose from the couch. Kiba walked up to him, standing a bit behind. His hand reached out, almost on its own, unsure of its intention, but was stopped by Kankuro's voice, barely above a whisper.

"…I'm done playing." Kiba broke. He launched himself forward.

"Please don't leave! Please! I'm sorry! I'll do anything, just please don't leave." He was clinging to Kankuro, arms wrapped around him, cheek pressed against the back of his neck, seconds from sobbing.

"No more, Kiba." Kiba could hear Kankuro's voice break. "No more apologies. I'm sick of hearing it every time." He tried to get away but Kiba wouldn't let go. Tears were streaming down over the tattoos on Kiba's cheeks as he tried to keep Kankuro from leaving.

Kankuro surprised him by spinning suddenly in his arms, grabbing him by the shirt and shoving him into the wall, knocking Kiba's breath from his lungs.

"Stop it! You always say things'll change and they _never_ do!" Tears were trailing lines through his face paint, making him look like a mess. "I'm sick of hiding! I'm sick of forgiving you! You always try to make it all better with these pretty words but they're just lies! Every time I say it's ok, I feel like such an _idiot_ when it happens again! You can live in denial all you want now, because I'm _done!_ You hear me? DONE!"

Kankuro's shaking hands let go, allowing Kiba to brokenly slide to the floor. Kiba watched in stunned silence as the same hands – hands he'd kissed, hands that had held him, hands that knew every inch of his body – picked up Kankuro's bag and scroll, turned the doorknob and allowed the Sand nin to walk out of his life without another word.

* * *

_A/N: Why am I so mean to Kankuro? *sigh*_


End file.
